Ep. #83 Polyamory, Non-Monogamy, and The Process of Individuation w/ Dr. Joli Hamilton, PhD

Posted byShane PokroyPosted inPodcasts, Psychology, SexTags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dr. Joli Hamilton

Dr. Joli Hamilton is a Relationship Coach, TEDx Speaker, Jealousy Expert, Research Psychologist, Professor, Author, and Podcast Host. The Relationship Coach for Couples Who Color Outside the Lines! Joli helps people experience the freedom, deep security, and sexual fulfillment that comes when they shift from plain-old monogamy to MORE. More WHAT exactly? Polyamory, ethical nonmonogamy, creative monogamy- Joli guides you out of the standard script and into the life you were meant to have!

“Your relationship can be both open and secure. It is possible. I help people do it every.single.day. Action-takers can have this life. Intentionally designed love, whether it is creatively monogamous or consensually non-monogamous, doesn’t mean sacrificing stability or depth of connection.  But the rules you learned about love won’t get you where you want to go.

You need a masterful coach to guide you. This is your most profound connection- you don’t want to risk losing it just to get laid- you’re an adult. But you also don’t want a walking-dead life just because someone else said buttoned-up was the only way to do love. It’s time to flip over tables and toss the rule books. My signature process gives you the skills you need to take full creative power over your love life!”

In this episode, Joli and Shane discuss her work and studies on polyamory – the practice of having more than one romantic or sexual partner. What exactly does polyamory entail? Who is polyamorous? What are some of the major challenges? What are the benefits? What about jealousy? Is polyamory a pathway to individuation? These are just a few of the topics up for discussion in this episode. 

Check Out Joli’s Podcast: Playing with Fire: Non-Monogamy& Individuation:

237 The Art & Practice of Shedding Mono-Normativity – Playing With Fire

We live in a culture where monogamy isn't just presented as one way to have relationships—it's positioned as the only natural, healthy, and moral way to relate. This assumption runs so deep that most of us never even question it. But what happens when we start examining these unspoken rules that shape our relationships?Mono-normativity affects all of us, whether we're monogamous or not. Bringing these unconscious assumptions into the light can create more authentic, intentional relationships. Because here's the truth: you can't truly consent to something you don't know you're choosing.In this episode, we talk about:— The difference between monogamy and mono-normativity— Why most couples never explicitly define what monogamy means to them—and the problems this creates— How to "individuate" your monogamous relationship by making conscious choices rather than following default scripts— The way exclusivity gets overcoupled with safety, specialness, and relationship validity— Practical ways to decenter monogamy without devaluing it— How auditing your language can help create more inclusive spaces for all relationship styles— Why making monogamy a conscious choice can actually strengthen your relationship— The importance of distinguishing between attraction, fantasy, and action in any relationship— How creative practices like making playlists, writing, and storytelling can help us imagine relating beyond mono-normative frameworks— The value of creating your own "monogamy statement" with your partner as a connective, clarifying exercise— Why questioning mono-normativity doesn't mean you have to change your relationship structure—it just means you get to choose it consciouslyResources mentioned in this episode:— Alex Alberto's memoir Entwined and their short filmJOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠Learn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart wayAre you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at http://www.JoliQuiz.comGet the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything hereMusic: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions
  1. 237 The Art & Practice of Shedding Mono-Normativity
  2. 236 Co-Creating Magnificent Sex
  3. 235 I Think I'm Polyamorous, But I'm in a Monogamous Marriage
  4. 234 How to Figure Out What You Want (And Why It’s So Damn Hard)
  5. 233 The Case for ‘Boring’ Polyamory

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