Ep. #83 Polyamory, Non-Monogamy, and The Process of Individuation w/ Dr. Joli Hamilton, PhD

Posted byShane PokroyPosted inPodcasts, Psychology, SexTags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dr. Joli Hamilton

Dr. Joli Hamilton is a Relationship Coach, TEDx Speaker, Jealousy Expert, Research Psychologist, Professor, Author, and Podcast Host. The Relationship Coach for Couples Who Color Outside the Lines! Joli helps people experience the freedom, deep security, and sexual fulfillment that comes when they shift from plain-old monogamy to MORE. More WHAT exactly? Polyamory, ethical nonmonogamy, creative monogamy- Joli guides you out of the standard script and into the life you were meant to have!

“Your relationship can be both open and secure. It is possible. I help people do it every.single.day. Action-takers can have this life. Intentionally designed love, whether it is creatively monogamous or consensually non-monogamous, doesn’t mean sacrificing stability or depth of connection.  But the rules you learned about love won’t get you where you want to go.

You need a masterful coach to guide you. This is your most profound connection- you don’t want to risk losing it just to get laid- you’re an adult. But you also don’t want a walking-dead life just because someone else said buttoned-up was the only way to do love. It’s time to flip over tables and toss the rule books. My signature process gives you the skills you need to take full creative power over your love life!”

In this episode, Joli and Shane discuss her work and studies on polyamory – the practice of having more than one romantic or sexual partner. What exactly does polyamory entail? Who is polyamorous? What are some of the major challenges? What are the benefits? What about jealousy? Is polyamory a pathway to individuation? These are just a few of the topics up for discussion in this episode. 

Check Out Joli’s Podcast: Playing with Fire: Non-Monogamy& Individuation:

234 How to Figure Out What You Want (And Why It’s So Damn Hard) – Playing With Fire

There’s one really important prerequisite for a whole lot of juicy relational goodness… but it sounds deceptively simple… figuring out what you want. Whether it's day-to-day preferences or deeper desires, knowing what we truly want helps us make authentic agreements with ourselves and others. So why is this process so difficult for many of us?In this episode, we’re exploring the psychology behind identifying our true desires, the obstacles that get in our way, and practical strategies for uncovering what we genuinely want. We share personal experiences and tips that can help you reconnect with your desires and use them to create a more fulfilling life.Here’s what we’re covering:— How disappointment can serve as a powerful compass pointing toward what we truly want— The crucial difference between what we genuinely want and what we think we should want— Why some of us struggle to identify our desires due to childhood experiences, birth order, or cultural conditioning— How to distinguish between assumptions about what will happen versus actual desires— The power of using envy and "justice jealousy" as indicators of our deeper wants— Practical techniques for accessing your imagination when you feel stuck or disconnected from your desires— Why constraints can sometimes help us identify what we want more clearly than complete freedom— How different personality types approach the process of wanting differently— The concept that "desire desires desire" and how the gap between wanting and having creates energy— Strategies for working with the tendency to lose interest once we obtain what we thought we wantedResources mentioned in this episode:— Jessica Fern's book Polysecure— Our episode on Justice Jealousy— Unruly: Our agreements lab for unconventional relationshipsJOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠Learn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart wayAre you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at http://www.JoliQuiz.comGet the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything hereMusic: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions
  1. 234 How to Figure Out What You Want (And Why It’s So Damn Hard)
  2. 233 The Case for ‘Boring’ Polyamory
  3. 232 How to Keep Going When Non-Monogamy Feels Too Hard
  4. 231 The Holiday Survival Guide for Polyamorous People
  5. 230 Can Trauma Survivors Do Non-Monogamy?

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