Ep. #83 Polyamory, Non-Monogamy, and The Process of Individuation w/ Dr. Joli Hamilton, PhD

Posted byShane PokroyPosted inPodcasts, Psychology, SexTags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dr. Joli Hamilton

Dr. Joli Hamilton is a Relationship Coach, TEDx Speaker, Jealousy Expert, Research Psychologist, Professor, Author, and Podcast Host. The Relationship Coach for Couples Who Color Outside the Lines! Joli helps people experience the freedom, deep security, and sexual fulfillment that comes when they shift from plain-old monogamy to MORE. More WHAT exactly? Polyamory, ethical nonmonogamy, creative monogamy- Joli guides you out of the standard script and into the life you were meant to have!

“Your relationship can be both open and secure. It is possible. I help people do it every.single.day. Action-takers can have this life. Intentionally designed love, whether it is creatively monogamous or consensually non-monogamous, doesn’t mean sacrificing stability or depth of connection.  But the rules you learned about love won’t get you where you want to go.

You need a masterful coach to guide you. This is your most profound connection- you don’t want to risk losing it just to get laid- you’re an adult. But you also don’t want a walking-dead life just because someone else said buttoned-up was the only way to do love. It’s time to flip over tables and toss the rule books. My signature process gives you the skills you need to take full creative power over your love life!”

In this episode, Joli and Shane discuss her work and studies on polyamory – the practice of having more than one romantic or sexual partner. What exactly does polyamory entail? Who is polyamorous? What are some of the major challenges? What are the benefits? What about jealousy? Is polyamory a pathway to individuation? These are just a few of the topics up for discussion in this episode. 

Check Out Joli’s Podcast: Playing with Fire: Non-Monogamy& Individuation:

246 We Opened up Too Fast: What Do We Do Now? – Playing With Fire

The phrase "we opened up too fast" comes up a lot in the conversations we have with people who are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy. But what does "too fast" even mean? And more importantly—too fast for whom?Here's the thing: once you've crossed certain thresholds in opening up, there's no going back to a state of unknowing. You can't unsee what you've seen or unknow what you've learned about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. This can feel scary, but it's also where some of the most profound growth happens.In this episode, we talk about:— Why "too fast" is really about thresholds, not speed— How foiled expectations drive so much of our dysregulation in the opening process— The difference between pacing that allows for skill-building versus holding so still that you never actually learn anything— Why differentiation work matters just as much (if not more) than the logistics of who you're dating— The power of imaginal work— How to recognize when you're objectifying potential partners (couples privilege on steroids) and why that's a sign that you might not be ready yet— The reality that monogamy skills don't all transfer to non-monogamy, but non-monogamy skills work everywhere— Why learning resilience and repair skills is more important than getting everything "right" the first time— The profound relief that comes from increased self-knowledge, even when relationships end— How educational community and mentorship can provide the support that makes all the differenceResources mentioned in this episode:— Our Neuro-Somatic Intelligence Essentials Playlist— Our Nervous System PlaylistJOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & supportLearn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart wayAre you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at http://www.JoliQuiz.comGet the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything hereMusic: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions
  1. 246 We Opened up Too Fast: What Do We Do Now?
  2. 245 Check-Ins That Actually Work
  3. 244 But I Feel like I’m Gonna Die: What Happens When Agreements Meet Attachment Panic
  4. 243 Making Decisions Together: Permission, Consultation, and Notification in Relationships
  5. 242 Betrayal Repair in Non-Monogamy

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